If your father seems unusually docile

If your father seems unusually docile and withdrawn as your wedding approaches, don’t worry about it.

On top of his usual family concerns and business matters, he’s got a lot of new things to think about and he is also probably feeling some emotions he has not felt very often before.

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If your parents have taken on the traditional bride’s parents’ financial role of paying for the bulk of the wedding, you can understand that might cause him some concern.

He’s also probably wondering if he’s done everything he could to be
the father that you needed.

And, of course, many men in our society feel that they must not
show their emotions.

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Spend some time with him, talk about things that are not part of
the wedding plans – things he’s always been interested in, and
reassure him of your respect and gratitude for all that he’s tried to
do for you.

Unless your ex-partner was violent or otherwise unstable, you
should tell them that you are getting married.
That is especially important if you had children together and they
have been providing any financial or other support.

If there were no children and you haven’t kept in touch, there’s no
real need to go out of your way to let them know.
If you have maintained contact since you separated you might think
about inviting them to your wedding.

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This might be appreciated by your older children but could create
some confusion and perhaps worse in the minds of very young
children from that relationship.

They’ve already started to get used to their new circumstances as
part of an expanded family and may be busy sorting out any
tensions with your groom’s children and then their real father is
back, however temporarily.

It’s something that only you can decide but, before doing anything,
discuss it with your new spouse and, possibly, get the views of the
older children.