If your father seems unusually docile

If your father seems unusually docile and withdrawn as your wedding approaches, don’t worry about it.

On top of his usual family concerns and business matters, he’s got a lot of new things to think about and he is also probably feeling some emotions he has not felt very often before.

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If your parents have taken on the traditional bride’s parents’ financial role of paying for the bulk of the wedding, you can understand that might cause him some concern.

He’s also probably wondering if he’s done everything he could to be
the father that you needed.

And, of course, many men in our society feel that they must not
show their emotions.

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Spend some time with him, talk about things that are not part of
the wedding plans – things he’s always been interested in, and
reassure him of your respect and gratitude for all that he’s tried to
do for you.

Unless your ex-partner was violent or otherwise unstable, you
should tell them that you are getting married.
That is especially important if you had children together and they
have been providing any financial or other support.

If there were no children and you haven’t kept in touch, there’s no
real need to go out of your way to let them know.
If you have maintained contact since you separated you might think
about inviting them to your wedding.

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This might be appreciated by your older children but could create
some confusion and perhaps worse in the minds of very young
children from that relationship.

They’ve already started to get used to their new circumstances as
part of an expanded family and may be busy sorting out any
tensions with your groom’s children and then their real father is
back, however temporarily.

It’s something that only you can decide but, before doing anything,
discuss it with your new spouse and, possibly, get the views of the
older children.

When You have Different Religious Backgrounds

There may be difficulties where you are of different faiths but most,
though not all, obstacles can be reduced or removed over time.

There could be friction within one or both families and there may be
legal requirements if you decide to have two services (one following
the tradition of each faith) or a non-denominational ceremony.


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You may need to have a licensed marriage registrant at one
ceremony to comply with the laws in your area.

I suggest that you approach members of your families who are
closer to their church for information unless doing so might increase
tension between you.

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You will, however, probably find that your local religious leaders are
quite helpful when they understand the sincerity of your
commitment to each other.

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The traditional choice is for one person to convert to the religion of
the other. That is a very serious decision which should be
considered carefully and which the two of you should discuss
without pressure.

Accept their position and set your plans in line with what you have

If someone can’t or won’t, that doesn’t mean they don’t love you as
much as the other parents. Accept their position and set your plans
in line with what you have.

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If you decide to get some debt to ensure you have the sort of
wedding you really want, make sure that it’s a joint decision
because you will both have to live within the reduced income until
that debt is cleared.

One advantage that comes from paying for your own wedding is
that you don’t have the burden of any obligations that sometimes
come with large sums of cash.

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If you feel that a parent or other relative has put emotional strings
on their cash, talk to them before accepting the gift. Thank them for
the money and ask them to understand that you will have full
control of how the money is used.

Otherwise, you’re probably better to get them to pay for a specific
item, like the catering or keep the check so you avoid any ongoing
obligation.

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This can be more complicated with second and subsequent
marriages, which seem to be increasing.
There can be no reason to believe that any parents have any
obligation to contribute substantially to these. Some will without
being asked.

And it’s probably more responsible and caring not to ask those who
don’t.

Live Music or Disc Jockey

The choice of entertainment will depend in part, like everything
else, on the budget. Then, it starts and finishes, in my opinion, with
the desires of the bride and groom.

You need to talk with the people you are thinking of hiring and,
preferably, see them work for the same sort of people as yourselves
and your friends.

Try really hard to get references of people they’ve worked for
recently. Don’t pay too much attention to critics’ column in the local
press or their agent when he or she is trying to get you to book
them.

When you’ve settled on a group or a DJ that’s within your budget
and won’t completely freak out your beloved elderly relatives, you
need to let them know of any special requirements you have.
For instance, your Uncle Jack may want to sing a ballad. If that’s okay with you, make sure that the DJ or musicians can accompany him or give them the name and other details of the song so that
they can get the music.

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Some musicians can pick up a tune just by hearing it. Even if
someone in the group can do that under normal conditions, it might
not work when Uncle Jack is the singer.

The band will have their own needs, like a room to change into their
stage gear, check their equipment and relax with a drink (that you
pay for) between sessions.

When you decide how long you want them to work, they will say
how many breaks they need.

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It’s also wise to allow about, say, half an hour between the finish of
the meal and the first music session. That’s because your musicians
or DJ will need time to set the equipment in place and check it
thoroughly.

There’s also a 99% likelihood that the meal will take about that
much longer than the caterer suggested.

You should also arrange for someone to keep the band happy. That
requires someone that is sober and reliable.

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That person needs to be supplied with the fee in the agreed form to
pay the band when they have finished and, preferably, to keep an
eye on their equipment when they take a break and leave the
stand.

He must not let any of the guests, not even Uncle Jack, fiddle with
their equipment.

Don’t want a Professional Photographer?

Don’t want a Professional Photographer?

Even when you hire a professional, encourage your guests to take
their own pictures (without interfering with the photographer whenhe is setting up or shooting).
Think carefully before you decide not to use a professional.
Then, try to find someone you know who has photographed
weddings before and got good results. It’s too important an
occasion to risk ending up with no good pictures.

Make one person your designated photographer and give them a list
of the shots which you want.

Give them time to set up their equipment and the groups to be
photographed. But, don’t let any photographer run your whole
schedule or harass your guests.

Set the locations for the special group shots.

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Give the people that you want in them at least a few minutes notice
so that nobody pops out for a cigarette or is hurrying off to the
toilet when they’re needed.

Everybody knows that the best pictures have everyone looking at
the camera but it is worth reminding your guests just before they
are photographed, so that you aren’t left with an album full of
apparently sleepy or distracted people.

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Some amateur videographers like to add a lot of flashy effects to
their movies. Ask that they first give you an unedited version for
you to keep.

Your Dress and the Rest

Avoid anything which will reduce your
enjoyment of your big day. Tight but stylish
shoes may be okay just for a photo shoot but
switch them for something which will caress
and support your feet while you are dancing
with your new husband or trying to avoid his
uncle's clomping feet during the next dance.

Your dress should catch the eye but not constrict you from moving
around or being able to eat some of those special snacks which
you’ve been looking forward to since you ordered them from the
caterer. Keep your make-up to a tasteful minimum.

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If someone offers you a miracle wrinkle reducer cream be very
careful. One treatment which has been used for years by make-up
artists was developed to reduce hemorrhoids! It is claimed to have
some effect over time but there’s a big downside. Some doctors say
that the cream may reduce the natural elasticity of the skin. That
might give you a papery complexion like a real smooth sheet of
paper.

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The Bridesmaids

There’s a lot more that your girlfriends who accept your invitation to
be your bridesmaids contribute to the wedding day and your whole
experience than just their company, laughter and gifts.

It’s not just the money and time they give to help make your day araging success, they may help with checking possible suppliers and hosting as well as attending your showers and other prenuptial
events and helping you to perk up when the load gets a bit heavy.

Plan for Your Perfect Wedding

Preparing for your wedding is like taking on another job.
Reduce the impact on your normal life by writing out a schedule of
the important things which you must keep aware of.
Keep this list handy and refer to it when needed. You may need to
adjust it to fit your situation and perhaps discard or add some
items. But, it’s fairly comprehensive.

If the list seems overwhelming, don’t panic! Almost everything
here is covered in the later chapters. When you’ve read them, you
will be well prepared and, I hope, looking forward to the adventure.
I’ve put the list here as a memory aid. That doesn’t mean you’ll be
able to recite the list without looking at the page – that’s not
required.

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If you read through it a couple of times, you will impress it on your
subconscious which should help eliminate the possibility that you
will overlook any important steps – your subconscious will pop the
right items into your conscious mind when needed.

Tell your families. If they’re very traditional, then the future
husband might ask his prospective father-in-law first.

You also need to work out who will pay for the event, the other
associated expenses and whether you will pay or assist with the
costs, like accommodation, travel etc., of members of the bridal
party or any special relatives who might not have the funds to be
able to attend.

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Then, tell your friends and announce it through the local newspaper
(not compulsory).
Set a date for the wedding.

Reduce Stress Whenever Possible

If you haven’t enough stress in your daily life, planning a wedding is
likely to give you more than you need.
I don’t have a ‘magic cure’ – there is none.
Alcohol and pills are likely to increase problems rather than help you
get through them.

Here’s a few quick tips that should help.
􀀹 Focus on your normal obligations with your job and
your social network. If you start to push them aside
because of your wedding preparations, you could build
up problems for your return.

􀀹 Don’t begin every conversation with something about
you, your groom or the wedding. Your friends and
colleagues need a break and so do you.

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􀀹 Think about doing relaxation exercises and meditation.
They’re not the exclusive domain of particular religious
groups and there are books which show how you can
fit them into your regular lifestyle.

􀀹 Start or continue to exercise regularly. You need your
strength and resilience to be the best it can.

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􀀹 Have a complete health check-up.

􀀹 Have a massage or complete body toning session,
preferably with one or more of your close female
friends – better than a shower for your mental state
and your diet!

Tens of thousands of people want to become fashion photographers

Tens of thousands of people want to become fashion photographers. There are
even TV shows about them. But the field is just not practical for most people.
It is extremely competitive, with unrealistic career demands for most individuals.
You have to be willing to travel a lot, live in a big city, work odd hours, and
often put up with a lot of stress.

The concepts of fashion photography, however, are applicable to any portrait
or wedding photographer. That’s where this book comes in. Other books
instruct people on how to become fashion photographers, including getting
established in the industry or working with models. This book introduces you to the concepts of fashion photography and shows you how to put these
concepts to work in your wedding and portrait photography. This book is practical
and geared at making you money. It doesn’t just focus on the career path
of a fashion photographer or the creative process.

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It covers everything from
fashion poses to essential fashion lighting techniques to important ways to
retouch your clients to achieve the fashion look. You can take these skills to the
bank now by offering your clients unique fashion flair in their portraits.
This book opens by discussing the preparation required to add a fashion twist to
your images, including location and styling, and then the poses, lighting, and
equipment needed on the day of your shoot.

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It then covers in-camera techniques,
fashion lighting essentials, Photoshop techniques, and a variety of other tricks to
achieve the fashion flair aesthetic. The book would not be complete without the
final section on business tips that will really make the fashion flair approach work
for you. Marketing, social networking, products, and services can all be found in
Part V.