Accept their position and set your plans in line with what you have

If someone can’t or won’t, that doesn’t mean they don’t love you as
much as the other parents. Accept their position and set your plans
in line with what you have.

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If you decide to get some debt to ensure you have the sort of
wedding you really want, make sure that it’s a joint decision
because you will both have to live within the reduced income until
that debt is cleared.

One advantage that comes from paying for your own wedding is
that you don’t have the burden of any obligations that sometimes
come with large sums of cash.

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If you feel that a parent or other relative has put emotional strings
on their cash, talk to them before accepting the gift. Thank them for
the money and ask them to understand that you will have full
control of how the money is used.

Otherwise, you’re probably better to get them to pay for a specific
item, like the catering or keep the check so you avoid any ongoing
obligation.

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This can be more complicated with second and subsequent
marriages, which seem to be increasing.
There can be no reason to believe that any parents have any
obligation to contribute substantially to these. Some will without
being asked.

And it’s probably more responsible and caring not to ask those who
don’t.